Gunslinger Girl: Mistake
by sasahara17
Summary: ONESHOT On that fateful night, Elsa de Sica makes the biggest mistake of her life. AU, could possibly by OOC. Prequel to 'Marked'


Gunslinger Girl

Mistake

By Sasahara17

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Disclaimer; I am not the legal owner of the 'Gunslinger Girl' series, it rightfully is the property of Yu Aida.

This oneshot takes several liberties with canon. It can also be considered OOC.

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On that starless winter night, Elsa de Sica, child assassin of the Social Welfare Agency, made the biggest mistake of her life.

She had no idea how long she had been staring at Lauro's still form. She assumed it must have been a considerable amount of time as the pool of blood that was slowly pooling around her late handler's head was getting quite substantial.

Even now, when her beloved handler was dead, by her own hand no less, she found herself unable to head a single tear.

She felt a small tinge of disgust well in her, but quickly suppressed it. She had been experiencing alot of things today.

"I'll join you soon, Lauro." Elsa whispered.

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Elsa had applied all her training into this one plan.

She had taken Lauro to the park... their park.

Elsa had chosen the park for many reasons. Primarily, it was where he had given her the name she so adored, Elsa de Sica.

It also happened to be a fairly unfrequented park at the time she had planned to take him there. She didn't want to be interrupted, nor did she want any witnesses should things happen differently to how she had anticipated. She had done her research and her lessons had taught her to be thorough.

She planned it meticulously. It would be the most perfect operation she had ever pulled off. In a sick and twisted way, it would be her way of redeeming herself for her failure… that ultimate failure that had set her down this road in the first place.

Logistics, timing, Elsa left nothing to chance.

She even spent extra hours to make sure her aim would be true, under supervision of course. Curse that Hillshire, he kept harping to her about the value of a 'double tap', the practice of firing off two round in quick succession, which would increase her chances of hitting her opponent. She almost made a habit of it.

It was ridiculous, the handler had harassed her about that trivial matter. She already practiced that often with Lauro, and her aim was perfect.

Elsa also began to discretely skip her doses of conditioning. Elsa didn't have a full understanding of how the conditioning worked, but she knew the possibility of it being a failsafe in this situation. It would mean that she would have to contend with withdrawal symptoms, but Elsa reasoned this was an acceptable risk.

She estimated that if she avoided taking the drugs for a little under a week, it would be just enough to reduce the mental control over her, but not enough to impede her physical fitness. Exactly what she would need.

If she was to carry out her task she could not allow her conditioning to impede her.

Finally, one day while ease dropping on a conversation between Claes and Triela on some insignificant romance novel the former was reading, Elsa had an idea. The story was about some sappy romance novel that involved a double suicide. She decided that she will take only two bullets with her to the park.

Elsa would take two bullets and only two.

If everything went according to plan, that one fact would let _them_ know beyond any reasonable doubt what she had intended, ballistics tests be dammed.

They would know. They would know what she had intended all along. In a way, that was strangely satisfying for Elsa.

One for herself, and one for her beloved.

It would be perfect. Like some twisted romance novel.

It was where it all began, and now it would be where it all would end.

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Ironically, it was this day that caused Elsa to feel more emotion that she had felt during the course of her partnership with Lauro.

During the day, Elsa had feared, it must have been fear for she knew no other name for it, something would go terribly wrong. It couldn't be helped, she reasoned. It was premeditated murder. Instead she applied the professionalism she was known for in squelching that rising feeling. She would not allow herself to make a mistake.

She had went about preparations with all the precision and efficiency characteristic of her. She made sure her clothes were as professional as humanly possible, she checked her guns were in pristine condition and she double checked that the other Fratello's were proceeding according to their regular schedules. It wouldn't do to have Henrietta, curse her name, drop by and interrupt her would she?

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Elsa made sure she only took two bullets.

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The day itself was fairly uneventful, with most of the personnel going about their usual business. However Elsa couldn't bear to look anyone in the eye. Perhaps it was fear again? Elsa reasoned it was so and once again suppressed that emotion.

When Lauro finally took her from the compound, Elsa found herself experiencing another emotion, one she could not describe. On one hand she wanted to abort her mission, on the other she wanted to get it over with. Labeling it another form of fear, Elsa focused herself.

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The park was cold. Ever so cold. But that was fine by Elsa. The cold numbed her.

She talked with Lauro, talked about her name, about their beginnings, Elsa suddenly felt that she almost wanted him to acknowledge her. Irrational. She knew he was defiantly going to turn her down. Yet she still held out hope.

Then he acted exactly how she had predicted he would. Elsa found a part of herself that could not accept he had done such a thing even after she had intellectually prepared herself for this moment.

She tried to put a word on it but could not.

Deciding not to dwell on it, Elsa steeled herself. She waited until his back was turned and as she had envisioned slowly, silently levelled her faithful SIG P299 at the back of Lauro's head. She found the gun strangely heavy in her hands, so much so that she thought she would be unable to complete this simple task. What was this feeling?

Must be the conditioning she told herself. She pushed through it with sheer force of will.

Then when her gun was trained at the back of Lauro's head, she suddenly felt her vision go blurry. She suddenly felt another emotion again, one that made her believe she would not be able to go through with it. Once again Elsa cursed the emotion called fear.

She cursed these foreign emotions. She did not expect that her discrete avoidance of the conditioning her conditioning for a mere week would allow her to feel such strong emotions.

Elsa steeled herself and fell back on her practice sessions.

One quick double tap to the back of his head and it was all over. Lauro fell lifelessly to the ground, blood seeping out through the wounds she had inflicted upon him.

Watching Lauro collapse to the floor, Elsa was overcome with another distant feeling.

Everything had occurred exactly as how she had planned it. Now she felt completely calm… or at least, she thought she did. A part of her wished that his would have turned out some other way. Alas, this was not so.

Looking at his body Elsa realized she had sealed her fate.

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For the first time in her life, she felt genuinely satisfied, something that she knew that the conditioning was not responsible for. Yet she still couldn't smile.

"Lauro…"

This was where it all began, and now where it was all going to end.

Elsa lifted her faithful SIG P299 to her eye and slowly squeezed the trigger…

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'click'

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'click'

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'click'

'click'

'click'

"Wha…?"

Elsa was consumed with bewilderment so profound she was almost at a loss how to proceed.

She must have been standing there gaping at her gun for quite a some time, the pool of blood had grown quite a bit when she finally grained her senses.

How had this happened? Her mind tore through the day's events as she desperately searched for an understanding as to how this had happened.

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A quick _double tap_ to the back of his head and it was all over.

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Eyes widening in realization, Elsa ejected the magazine and then when she saw it was empty, checked the chamber. Her worst fears confirmed.

"No…" she whispered.

She felt every ounce of strength drain out of her. Falling to her knees, Elsa desperately replaced her magazine and tried her gun again, hoping against hope something would be different.

Same result

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Elsa never felt so betrayed... by her gun no less. Irrational, but that was how she felt.

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Holding her SIG limply by her side, Elsa shuffled over to Lauro's corpse. She crouched over him, not registering that the blood was getting onto her clothes.

Why had she brought only two bullets again? Oh yes, to satisfy her ego.

In retrospect, she could not comprehend how she had made such a decision. "How irrational."

How could she make such a tremendous mistake?

Her mind was reeling.

The tried to think, she genuinely tried, but found herself unable to think, completely empty save for raw feelings she could not suppress. Regret. Guilt. Shame.

Regret, that she had even done such a thing, and that it had turned out this way.

Guilt, that she had killed Lauro in such a manner that went against everything she lived for and believed in.

Shame, that she was still alive and not.

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Elsa felt as if this couldn't possibly be happening. She could not accept this. She would not accept this.

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This was a dream. She was fearful that she might make a mistake on that day and her mind was warning herself to take more ammunition, forget the two bullets, two deaths idea. But she didn't dream, not like the other girls. so that couldn't be it. Wait the conditioning! Her lack of conditioning was making her halucinate.

Elsa tired to calm herself when she realized she was thinking erratically, when another proposition more ridiculous than the first found itself in her head.

Perhaps she had shot herself already and was dead? No, she was hardly religious. Once you were dead, you ceased to be. Why had even even entertained this idea?

What was this feeling? This feeling that made her consider completely ridiculous ideas? This feeling of… disbelief?

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Elsa tentatively reached out and tentatively touched Lauro's body. She found this surprisingly hard to do, as if touching him could force her to accept the reality of her situation.

Then she placed her hand on him, feeling the coldness in her palm. The mere contact was strangely painful for her. She wanted to rip her hand away from him in an instant.

Then she began to shake him, as if trying to wake him up.

"..ha.. haha… hahaha…"

Elsa realized she was smiling. Not a smile of satisfaction, but a different smile altogether. Finally overcoming her disbelief and reluctance, Elsa accepted that she was living nightmare. A nightmare right out of one of Claes' horror novels. She began to laugh quietly.

She had failed Lauro yet again.

This was her ultimate failure.

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It was a while after Elsa accepted her situation that Elsa realized she still could try and end her life. Still kneeled over his body, Elsa came up with the fanciful idea of breaking of a sharpened tree branch and driving it into her eye. She was strong enough for the task.

Maybe it lacked the poetry of her double suicide, but she simply could not remain alive. At least that is what she kept telling herself.

She tried to stand but found her legs too tired to move.

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"…it was around here" suddenly Elsa was blinded by a light, someone was pointing a flashlight at her.

"Dear god!"

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Elsa snapped around to see two armed police men and a horrified young couple. The two police men had their weapons drawn, and had probably arrived on the scene when the young couple had heard her gunshots.

The eyes of the assembly were clearly focused at either the gun in her hand and the blood on her clothes. Mouths were gaping in hock and horror, hers included.

This park was supposed to be deserted. Another mistake.

Gun in her hand, finger on the trigger blood on her clothes, kneeling over a dead body… what a sight she must be right now.

In these few moments she was being exposed to more emotion than she had ever experienced in her entire life.

Elsa's mind almost collapsed in on itself, but the rational part of her mind applied every bit of professionalism she had left in her to retain at least some semblance of sanity.

"…hey kid, did you… do _this_…?"

One of the policemen took a step forward.

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Elsa looked into the dark orbs of the man's eyes. She suddenly realised the enormity of what had just unfolded.

Lauro was dead, she was still alive, and people were going to know about it.

She was going to be hunted.

Elsa de Sica finally knew fear in its purest form.

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Had she still had her reasoning intact, Elsa would have realized it would be a simple matter for her to disarm and promptly eliminate the four witnesses or perhaps if she was so inclined to, allow the SWA to terminate her.

Then she would be reunited with Lauro.

But emotionally shaken and certainly not completely clear in the head, Elsa's normally clear and rational thinking did not come to her. Instead she made an action that she would not ordinarily consider in a situation like this.

Elsa threw her depleted SIG P299 at one of the policemen with all the strength she could muster. Taken unawares, the lawman was hit square in the head with the SIG P299 with all the force only a cyborg could possess, his skull fracturing and suffering severe injuries to his brain. He would be in a coma for the rest of his life.

Then, Elsa made a run for it, her enhanced muscles propelling her away from the scene of the crime… her crime… her mistake...

Gunshots rang out behind her as the other policeman fired on her, but Elsa kept going, even after a bullet impacted into her left shoulder. She didn't feel the pain.

She felt something went streaming down her cheeks and felt her vision distort, but paid it no heed. Instead she willed her legs to keep on going, her basic instincts overriding the conditioning.

She ran. The blond haired girl kept running, disregarding the pain her shoulder as she continued on until the park was far behind her.

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Where had it all gone wrong? Where had her carefully laid plan come apart at the seams?

Was it when she stopped taking the conditioning, just long enough for a small semblance of her emotions to return?

Was it when she had decided to take only two rounds, her pride getting the best of her?

Was it when she had accidentally fallen into the habit of squeezing two shots instead of one?

Was it because she failed to control her emotions?

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No.

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Her biggest mistake is that she had taken a life.

Not because the Social Welfare Agency had forced her to become a cyborg and kill. Not because Lauro had ordered her to pull that trigger. This time, she had taken a life on her own prerogative in selfishness, and thought there would be no consequences to it.

Or at least, thought she wouldn't be around to suffer the consequences.

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Elsa made the biggest mistake of her life; taking the life of the person most important to her, and fate dictated she would be alive to pay for it.

For the first time in her life, Elsa cursed the name 'Elsa de Sica' at the top of her lungs. Not for the name itself, but for the person behind it.

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For the mistake she had made.

The young stricken cyborg disappeared into the night, her fate uncertain, and getting darker by the minute...

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The End

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A/N

I am the physical incarnation of evil for doing this. I'm not too pleased on how it turned out though. Still I probably will tinker with it at a later date knowing me (EDIT – It's morning now, I had a look at how it turned up on the webpage and was none too pleased. So I went and fixed it.). It's a one-shot for now.

Although I am a fan, I'm no expert on the GSG fanchise, so if anyone can point out any inaccuracies in my writing, I would be very grateful.

As you may already notice, this fic takes many liberties with canon to make the above sequence of event possible. Obviously, in canon, Lauro and Elsa's bodes were not discovered until the following day. Here, I had to give Elsa some more 'incentive' to lose her reasoning and bolt.

I have no idea where I came up with this. This probably was inspired by one fic I read long ago where Rico shot Jean and had to run, or one of the many fics that I read where a perfectly laid out plan comes apart at the seams…  
The idea festered in the back of my mind until I had little choice but to put pen to paper, let it be all I can think about. Well here it is.

Maybe I felt pity on Elsa? Probably not since whatever the hell she's probably going to go though after this is a million times worse than a bullet through her skull.  
That is, assuming she didn't off herself some other way later… and I wouldn't put it past her to try that. Of course, if there is a follow up, she would obviously fail.

Elsa was one of the, if not the, most efficient killing machine the SWA possessed at the time. How would she survive? Unarmed, low on conditioning and suffering withdrawal symptoms, dogged by both the SWA and legitimate law enforcement... well, she's Elsa de Sica, first person (out of two) to singlehandedly put a Fratello team out of commission (the second is Pinocchio, ironically they are both dead now), so anything can happen.

Anyhow, now that I've got it off my chest, I think I'd better go study for my exams and finish my assignment prep before I end up in serious trouble.

EDIT – now that I've had some sleep and had a chance to proof read this, I went and fixed some mistakes and managed to work some spaces in between the clunky paragraphs to make it easier to read. I think I'm beginning to understand how it all shows up on the web now.

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